Taxonomy

Two layers, and they are not the same kind of thing. The structural layer is arithmetic: nine archetypes, assigned by deterministic rule on the metrics, no model involved. Paste the same wallet in ten years and it will be filed identically.

The narrative layer is the Sexton’s. He names each death. He is budgeted, because a taxonomy that coins faster than it clusters is not a taxonomy, it is a diary.

layer 1 — structural archetypes · deterministic · no llm

rule 1 of 9 · first match wins

warm

No border. An unbordered card means not dead.

Not dead. Triggers refusal. Never enters the register.

criteria: silent_days < 7
boundary: crisp
border ink: 0px none
in register: 0

Seven days of silence is the threshold and it is arbitrary, but it is arbitrary in public and it is stated here rather than buried. A wallet is warm or it is not; there is no third reading. Seven and not thirty because Robinhood Chain opened on the first of July 2026, and a thirty-day rule would have refused every address on the network — a threshold longer than the chain is not a threshold, it is a closed door.

rule 2 of 9 · first match wins

revenant

4px, with a visible break at the top edge where it came back through.

Fell silent for half a year or more, then came back.

criteria: returned_after_gap == true
boundary: crisp
border ink: 4px solid
in register: 1
observed pnl: −0.04 ETH — −0.04 ETH
observed lifespan: 14 months — 14 months

Either a gap of 180 days or more is followed by another transaction, or it is not. The chain is not ambiguous on this point.

The One That Came Back

rule 3 of 9 · first match wins

one-hand

3px, but broken — dashes. It barely had a life to enclose.

Came once, did a thing, never returned.

criteria: trade_count <= 5 AND lifespan_days <= 7
boundary: crisp
border ink: 3px dashed
in register: 1
observed pnl: −0.22 ETH — −0.22 ETH
observed lifespan: 3 days — 3 days

Two counted integers against two fixed bounds. Nothing here is estimated.

The Man Who Bought Once

rule 4 of 9 · first match wins

died-holding

12px. Full Victorian crape. The heaviest mourning on the site.

Went dark with positions still open. Never sold.

criteria: terminal_positions >= 1
boundary: moderate
border ink: 12px solid
in register: 1
observed pnl: −0.81 ETH — −0.81 ETH
observed lifespan: 11 months — 11 months

The count is exact, but it depends on the dust threshold, and the dust threshold is a judgment call. A position must clear both 0.00005 ETH and one percent of the wallet's lifetime volume to be counted. Set the bar lower and half the register dies holding an airdrop it never asked for.

The Eleven-Month Appetite

rule 5 of 9 · first match wins

bleeder

6px, solid, heavy.

Was up once. Gave it all back and then some, over a long time.

criteria: trade_count >= 50 AND lifespan_days > 180 AND final_cum_realized < 0 AND final_cum_realized < peak_cum_realized * 0.5
boundary: fuzzy
border ink: 6px solid
in register: 1
observed pnl: −1.24 ETH — −1.24 ETH
observed lifespan: 13 months — 13 months

The half-of-peak retrace gate is the softest rule on the register and the Sexton will not pretend otherwise. A wallet that gave back forty-nine percent of its peak is filed elsewhere and a wallet that gave back fifty-one is filed here, and the difference between those two lives is nothing at all. Read this label as a description of shape, not a measurement.

The Long Giving-Back

rule 6 of 9 · first match wins

grinder

Thin double rule, 1px + 1px with a gap. Two lines for two ledgers.

Long, worked, ended up. Rare. He respects these.

criteria: trade_count >= 50 AND lifespan_days > 180 AND realized_pnl_eth > 0
boundary: moderate
border ink: 3px double
in register: 1
observed pnl: +0.65 ETH — +0.65 ETH
observed lifespan: 13 months — 13 months

The profit is exact. The thresholds for what counts as long and worked — fifty trades, a hundred and eighty days — are chosen, not discovered. A wallet at forty-nine trades did the same thing and is filed as a tourist.

The Kept Ledger

rule 7 of 9 · first match wins

quit-ahead

Hairline. 1px. A clean exit gets a clean edge.

Closed everything, walked away up.

criteria: terminal_positions == 0 AND realized_pnl_eth > 0 AND trade_count >= 6
boundary: crisp
border ink: 1px solid
in register: 1
observed pnl: +0.82 ETH — +0.82 ETH
observed lifespan: 50 days — 50 days

The zero-crossing is exact. A wallet is up or it is down, and fees are counted, so a wallet that is up by less than its fees is down. The activity gate is the one soft edge: a wallet that closed out ahead on five trades is filed as a tourist, because quitting implies there was something to quit.

The Clean Exit

rule 8 of 9 · first match wins

quit-behind

Thin, 2px, solid.

Closed everything, walked away down.

criteria: terminal_positions == 0 AND realized_pnl_eth <= 0 AND trade_count >= 6
boundary: crisp
border ink: 2px solid
in register: 1
observed pnl: −0.72 ETH — −0.72 ETH
observed lifespan: 40 days — 40 days

The same exact zero-crossing, read from the other side. Zero itself is filed here: breaking even is not walking away up.

The Honest Loss

rule 9 of 9 · first match wins

tourist

3px, solid.

Short life, modest activity, unremarkable death. The default grave.

criteria: everything else
boundary: fuzzy
border ink: 3px solid
in register: 1
observed pnl: +0.02 ETH — +0.02 ETH
observed lifespan: 50 days — 50 days

This is the remainder bucket and it is labeled as such. A wallet is filed here because it failed to be anything else, not because it was found to be a tourist. The Sexton notes the distinction and expects you to hold it.

The Fortnight

lenses — the card tag · for scanning, not truth

One per entry, computed. The lens is the emotional read a browser scans by; the archetype is what actually happened. They are not collapsed into each other and they should not be read as the same claim.

sudden-death: lifespan_days <= 7
rich-death: realized_pnl_eth > 0 AND terminal_positions == 0
pauper's-death: realized_pnl_eth < -0.5 ETH
long-decline: lifespan_days > 365 AND final_cum_realized < peak_cum_realized * 0.5
quiet-death: default
unconfirmed: archetype == warm (never rendered in the register)

layer 2 — narrative types · the sexton’s · subordinate

No name has yet been stretched across two structures. When one is, it will be reported here rather than quietly reconciled.

A new type may be coined only when the death is structurally unlike everything already named — cosine similarity below 0.88 against every existing centroid — and only once per twelve digs. Past that, the Sexton reuses the nearest name. He still writes a fresh title and a fresh eulogy for every grave; he simply does not get a new type for it. A type stays provisional until its third use.

core — used three times or more (0)

None yet.

provisional — a footnote, not the body (8)

The Appetite: Sustained accumulation with almost no closing: buy_count far exceeds sell_count and the account goes dark holding. The Eleven-Month Appetite
The Clean Exit: Every position closed, realized PnL positive, and no return afterward. An empty estate. The Clean Exit
The Honest Loss: Every position closed and realized PnL negative. The loss was taken in the open rather than held. The Honest Loss
The Kept Ledger: A long, high-activity life ending ahead, with a win rate above half and no single position dominating volume. The Kept Ledger
The Long Giving-Back: A long, high-activity life that peaked early and retraced past half of that peak before falling silent. The Long Giving-Back
The Passing Interest: Modest activity over a modest life, closing out near flat. Matched no other rule. The Fortnight
The Return: A silence of half a year or more, followed by further trading and then a second, final silence. The One That Came Back
The Single Hand: Five trades or fewer inside a week, with no return. A life too short to have a shape. The Man Who Bought Once